Yeah...so I ran into my mother at WalMart...and you know what it went well...for me at least. She of course decided to ignore me and ignore her grandchild, but I was chipper and I said hello from a small distance and I made Emma's arm wave hello. Honestly, I dont think she could get into her car any faster and drive off.
So I have been working on the patience thing...and you know making a conscience effort and giving not only my face, hair, house and body a new makeover...but recently I gave my attitude a new makeover as well. I feel like with my house constinatly spotless, me dressing all bright and shimmery and the mere fact that I make an effort to watch me biting people's heads off and all has really been helping. I feel great and you know when I ran into my mother the other day, both my daughter and I looked great and I was feeling great! Honestly, I am not even bothered by it nor hurt or upset by it. I think everything is going to be OK. I dont see why it shouldnt be. I mean...I have a beautiful healthy daughter. I have a big 3 bedroom house with everything I could ever want in it...cept new furnature...but that is next month...LOL...and I have a wonderful loving husband...who plucks me at times...but hey..what are husbands for. I have everything I could ever want and more.
So why am I so upset and stressed all the damn time? Because of the past? Well there is not much I can do to change it and you know what... all I can do to make it better is raising my daughter right and giving her everything I never had. You know Britta and I were talking today and and I figured something out...with her help of course. I dont know how to be a mother 100%. But I do know, from how my mom treated us, how not to be a mother. So as long as I stick on the current course I am on...I have to be doing something right. You know what.. I really believe that too. Like I said...everything will be great...now that does not mean without trials and all! You just wait and see.