Wednesday, March 25, 2009
You know latley I have had a huge problem...this problem is I have no patience. I thought maybe it was just with Emma, but I am noticing it in all aspects of my life. Ever since this whole thing with my parents and the house being foreclosed on, I dont feel like myself. I am pushing the people I love most away and having no patience with them and I cannot figure out why. I would love to blame it on the house situation, but, I dont think I can. I think that I have been finally for the first time in my life overloaded. I think that my cup is full and begining to spill over and the bullshit that is spilling over is coming out as me pushing people away. Just yesterday one of my closest friends was trying to give me advice on my animal of a daughter and I bit her head off. For what!? She didnt do anything wrong! I was struggling and she was trying to help. At the time I didnt see it that way though. this specific friend I have bit her head off a shit ton of times in the past 3 weeks and you know...I guess she is a true friend b/c she is willing to put up with my bullshit. I feel horrible. I am also thinking my meds arent working anymore and I am starting to have a neg reaction to them...how that happened I will never know. I just hope I get better soon...and I am also making a consience effort to get this shit worked out. No one deserves to be treated like this. I have to get ready to go.